I am a coffee expert without coffee blog: WHY?

Everybody who knows me, is aware of the fact that I am nuts and owner of Manuel Coffee Netherlands which I have with husband since 1989, which makes me double nuts, or even maybe triple loony. Yes, I know: don’t ask. Husband and wife together at the helm in one business is that doable? NO; but that will be for many other posts to come, maybe.

There are a few people, one or two, who are asking themselves why I never write about coffee. As firsthand coffee expert, why have I been so smart to ignore writing about this golden liquid?

I should be writing about how to coffee, coffee and me, coffee how are you, coffee toffee, 1 coffee, 2 coffee, 3 coffee, does coffee grow in supermarkets, what is coffee, what to do with a coffee bean etc..

In this blog I’ll try to cover why you do should start a blog when you are in doubt of doing so. Why you should although many others have already done the same. And when you especially NOT should be blogging; which is my most favorite topic of all. So pay attention to that one.

It’s 2017 and the world is vlogging, snapping or live streaming; or hopscotching the world with one arm in the air with on top of their finger a tiny little rat dancing circles while vomiting because he ate a MacDonald hamburger which in itself makes a good viral video.

Would blogging still even be considerable for you? Is the written word still interesting to the with moving pictures spoiled generation? Everybody watches YouTube video’s or everyone else has already covered your favorite expert topic to blog about yourself. Doesn’t sound very appealing to get motivated, doesn’t it. You’ll maybe better of team up with a rat you would think.

No coffee blog; say whattt!!

Coffee expert without coffee blog

Why I didn’t blog about coffee

When I first came online in 1999, I already had dodged the whole internet thing because I was to busy for that.

And when I finally did defy the digital highway; did I wrote about coffee? Nooo sir I did not. I banned it for 17 years. Say whattt?!! Yes you heard that right: 17 years I didn’t mention one word about coffee. Are you being nuts??? Well….. Yes I am.

I could have been one of the very first to start a coffee blog in the very beginning of the internet. But I did not do that.

In 1999, I already had a coffee career for 10 years. We had a coffee wholesale business and import of a (in the meantime) well known Italian coffee brand.


About your favorite hot drink; I knew (almost) everything. It already had came to the point that coffee plants grew out of my ears. I could recognize many coffee brands by tasting it blindly.

Of course I didn’t know the 100% insights of coffee roasting, raw coffee bean checking etc. But that wasn’t necessary since I was only a simple importer/seller with more knowledge about how to put my long legs in my neck, both of them at the same time for no reason….at all.

I was known (by myself) because of writing crazy sketches and acting like I just got out of a psychiatric facility. I don’t know what this all has to do with this blog Celesta! Well maybe I never got over the fact that I had to live a more serious life; one where in taste buds were doing over hours.

Coffee coffee shop

After years of supplying restaurants and giving technical service for professional espresso machines, we had started a coffee shop as well. One with all kind of swell drugs you can expect from a Dutch woman. NO, no, no, no and no people!!! NOT ALL Dutch people have these kinds of coffee shops you know! It was just a coffee tasting room with four professional grinders and an additional coffee shop to buy our blends.

Coffee shop

Also we had a special grinder in which we did put rats who we caught slurping the last coffee drop remains on the tables; that indicates how long coffee cup and saucers were standing there after clients had left our etablissement.

Coffee shop

We let them do the dishes though and then lured them to our rat bed and breakfast place, in the form of a coffee grinder. We have no video, we had no mobiles with camera possibility at the time; so no viral video here for us. We had a handy cam though, but we found it a waste to film a bunch of rats and had no YouTube so what’s the use.

That period was at the same time I delivered a wonderful and special baby girl into this world (video present here, but not sexy: you don’t wanna see) With this memorable event, this unfortunate thing happened without having power over it. I became sick at the moment of our daughter’s birth and turned our business world upside down.

A very successful coffee career suddenly came to an end and I blame the little daughter for that. Would you really think that?! Noo of course I can’t blame my own flesh and blood! I blame my husband!

Instantly my life was about surviving the days as good as possible while still trying to work in between. And my husband was trying to survive me. So you can imagine I really didn’t have one bit of inspiration to write on the world wide web about coffee.

I only wanted to put garbage on top of husband and other people’s head. Especially on top of doctors and specialists, because they hadn’t even the knowledge to redeem me from the stupid curse I suddenly had accumulated somewhere at some point in time. I didn’t want it: go away: kssshhhhttt.

When you are not ready for writing

Writing about thousands of coffee recipes or valuable coffee tips weren’t really topics that occupied my mind. Other things were happening in my life, which resulted in lessons and experiences other than doing business in a coffee oriented world. Other things became important.

Like how to crawl from the living room to the kitchen and stuff. Or how to brush your teeth without having the idea that you’re having an earthquake.

Which was a major shame, because I always had in mind to write about coffee in general and not about earthquakes. I did already had a large collection of written articles about how to brew coffee the right way. Both professionally and for private use. About many sorts of coffee recipes which I collected for our tasting coffee shop/cafe. From which many where non existing recipes, because I invented them myself. Like coffee with snot; because from the time I got sick I had chronic sneeze attacks so you can imagine where it landed in. Nothing wrong with a cup of coffee with interesting flavors.

Manuel koffie

My knowledge about the coffee business reached as far as 1989. So in fact I had many stories about jerks, I mean clients and how to sell more coffee without causing hyperactive coffee shop customers escaping from our etablissement yelling: Spongebob is in there drinking coffee, and our experience stories as coffee sniffers. Oh; Spongebob wasn’t even born yet. Well I swear I did see him back then.

Telling you about my very own vision and experiences would have been totally unique and could definitely not be written about by any other person in this world.

The technical coffee information we gathered over the years were neatly put in a coffee manual by me. But I was so stupid to not use it.

Why no coffee blog

Coffee koffie

I had bred a love-hate relationship with this coffee thing because it had destroyed my life. Because of it I had become in a whirlpool of total physical unbalance and blamed the very crap out off the coffee beans.

I was so mad about ruining my life with coffee by overworking in an absurd way, that I didn’t want anything to do with it anymore.

In the early year 1999/2000 I did start writing though; and did that for CelestaMagazine. I interviewed interesting people and went behind the scenes of famous musicals.

As one of the first (female) bloggers, I could have been big, famous and rich. Yessss; I could have been transporting myself by limousine while wearing big dark sunglasses and carrying a tiny chic dog in a handbag. And then the dog would have had a tiny little jacket trimmed with diamonds.

But I didn’t want fame haha……of course I did want fame, but I was too stupid to take blogging serious. Being at the beginning of a blogging era, I always thought who is going to read the stupid blogs ever anyway. Whenever I told somebody “I blog“; they answered: “you what?“.

Search rabbit holes

On purpose I had chosen not to rush my life anymore <read this> and do things against my will. My ego wasn’t that big anymore (just the size of a watermelon, well that’s not that big) and I did only things for fun and for myself and not for the audience or the sake of money and fame.

In the meantime I had many other experiences which I found more important. Such as preventing my house from being auctioned for $1 to the next toddler on the corner of the street. Medical costs rise above your kitchen stove as you try to find out what the fuck (one of the very few times I actually use this word in written letters that is) is wrong with your body and the professionals slash experts are too stupid to know!

You will search rabbit holes to find an answer that nobody in the so called medical world can give you. You wrestle yourself through the dark hole and you’ll soon feel all the dirt splashing your face which transforms into a dirty human eater. Well that is: not a humanE eater but a real people eater with a big mouth.

Because that’s the result of fighting with specialists about whether they have any humane and reasonable logical thinking food left in their cherry stone or brain for non-Celesta speakers.

From then on you have to put up with all kinds of terrible annoying motherfuckers who drastically will put a ‘I-hate-people-forever label stamped upon every human being’s ugly faces.


I could have written a whole lot about the topic of coffee, but I, as a matter of principle, didn’t choose that. At that moment in time I did no major business in the coffee world anymore and decided to cheer myself up with things I really liked!

I made the very first KidsTV channel on internet two months before YouTube ever started.

Red carpet kinderjournaalSo I beleaguered famous people on the red carpet with a microphone, TV camera and a photo camera. I always wanted to stalk famous people and now I am famous too by the famous people themselves for the retarded woman who always yelled everyone his ears deaf with “KIDSTV HERE!!!”, after she knocked over a bunch of well known tabloid photo journalists. They were crap anyway. No of course I didn’t scream that. I screamed: “Hey! Every pompous ass over here; KIDSTV. Well..it worked.

We got to broadcast on TV and AGAIN I ignored a very important thing which was the newcomer YouTube-thing. I thought it was stupid and didn’t want to anything with it. Our videos were OURS and Basta!

Coming back to the topic: all my experiences during my entrepreneurship I did write about and I found those experiences far more valuable than only starting a coffee blog full of information about a simple liquid a lot of other people already covered for me.

But of course coffee is still one of my favorite magic potions but my passions had changed. I felt that it wouldn’t be honest anymore to write about something I wasn’t for 100% working for and passionate about.

Apparently I was not ready to write proper content, let alone that I would have the inspiration to do so.

When not to blog

So if the time isn’t right; the time just isn’t right to write. You have to have genuine inspiration to write proper content. Don’t write for the sake of writing and feeling obligated to be present on the internet; that’s just not going to work.

People are going to notice when you wrote your incoherent articles while hyperventilating over your house maybe being auctioned. If you are too busy feeding your triplets or your are involved in a court case by your ever so smart dog (they become more and more smarter you know; blame the internet), or you have a collection agency looking down your shoulder, your brain just isn’t capable of rationalize.

Sometimes you have to evaluate where your priorities and further path lies. How to do that? Just go lie in bed for a week and keep asking yourself questions; then you know. Taking a kitten will help too and in some cases asking the Tarot.

Don’t ever write when you are not ready for it; you will get nightmares about tigers and piranhas grabbing both your hands to then glue them real good onto your keyboard. And then you really look like an idiot when you go to the supermarket next day.

Mostly you will read blogs about why and how to start a blog. Of course they want to try to make such blogs as juicy as possible to get you writing. That’s what you want to hear and that’s what is getting you motivated.

As far as I’m concerned I have many comments to go with that. I mostly want to discourage you and if you feel addressed: please don’t start to write blogs.

Far too many blogs are written out of popularity reasons. They write about what you want to hear and read just for the sake of views, clicks, fame and money. So that’s why I started my blog haha; yep, oh wait….., but I am the person with the real LONGTIME business- and life experiences.

Please DO NOT write blogs when:

• You are twelve and advise people on how to reach your dreams, how to start a business, how to become happy or when to divorce your girl friend (of 12 years old)

PLEASEEEE for the mental well being of the real veterans in the field DO NOT: I REPEAT: DO NOT blog when you are NO ‘expert’.

When you don’t have the proper expertise of the topic you write about or the minimum amount of years experience of 25 years in it: keep the bldy fk of an expertise topic!!!!!! #grrrrrr

If you haven’t got years of experience on your resume to tell and write about. Also I so disapprove fakers with no experience at all. The ones who only apply all marketing techniques you can think of and only are doing it for fame and money. Don’t try to fake your way in, because I get mad and that’s not a good thing….for you.

• if you have absolutely no grammatically skills whatsoever; far too many young people suck majorly in their own language. I am Dutch from origin I am a tiny little bit allowed to now and then make a minor grammar error. But when it is your own language: you just can’t write ‘manger’ instead of ‘manager’ unless you try to implicate you are feeding your employers out of a long animal like box (a trough) calling this your unique and ultimate canteen experience.

Big typo’s soo shows that you have a little bit of learning to do and that you obviously not are ready to make it in the world of writing.

• you are out off physical balance; when your body is not working with you, you are probably put of mental balance too. Then you end up just like me writing all kind of total nonsense not knowing where it is going.

• when you don’t feel like writing. That can be temporarily, semi temporarily or permanent. No inspirations means no writing.

When you have 10 babies crawling and yelling around the place: don’t blog!! You maybe mistake some written words by diaper version type of nouns. Or maybe write your blog in such a manner that it breathe out your frustrations about how on earth you ended up in the middle of a daiper war nightmare. Don’t look at me though, I don’t know what I’m talking about; I’m just assuming.

Or you are far too busy with all kinds of side business that has to do with big financial or private settlements. To write well you need ‘focus’ and to get that you’ll have to get rid of all distractions.

So store all of your babies in the closet (or is that considered child abuse; anyway it might work), clean your work desk from the thousand of skittles or maybe not; they are handy since you’re gonna be hyperactive and therefore very productive so you may eat them, put some extra croissants in the oven and put some striking socks on.

So again don’t blog when you are not ready for it; you have to have inspiration to write proper content.

Why you should blog

So here you are, standing amongst 7 billion others, trying to figure out why the Blieb (my own censor word; in case you didn’t knew) you should be blogging.

Who is gonna read your probably rubbish anyway. Well maybe some bored animal. Even cats are blogging these days.

Probably there will pop up an entire arsenal of other excuses for not blogging. I feel you; I have been there too.

In time it frustrated me insanely that I never wrote about coffee. I suddenly was being pressed with my nose on the major important fact that I just could have been able to write all this time about coffee, because I was one of the few people that had unique coffee stories to tell.

Celesta and Jaco in news paperAt the time (1989) people hardly became entrepreneurs; let alone as young woman of 22; together with husband was rarity too and also doing business in coffee import was not common either. I came to the realization that I had a pretty unique background for coffee blogging other than trend bloggers about coffee.

Did that change my mind about blogging? NO; hahahaha.

Despite I have a lot of physical restrictions and demotivation, that doesn’t mean you should’nt. If you have a normal life this is the time to blog. If you have genuine expertise and not doing it for the sake of fame money and power go rock the world with some magic words.

Do write blogs when / because:

• When you have the world unique stories to tell; like when you just started an egg bed and breakfast for small creatures, who fit in the empty egg shells of course or when you have a rabbit roastery enterprise and you have actual living lions running around your office serving your personal the most disgusting vendor machine coffee of which your staff keeps running to the toilet so they most certainly can not work for you; you can write about it

• If you have genuine expertise and not for the sake of fame money and power

• If you can imagine yourself being all alone on a deserted island and you should be blogging for nobody else than yourself (and the present apes, insects and flying fish).

• If you can imagine that you would be perfectly happy without any other audience to stroke your ego. Without facebooking, tweeting, instagramming or ‘flubbshequeboncking’ (-still- non-existent social network). Which also would mean that nobody ever would read your written stuff on this world; then you may consider yourself a sincere writer.

• When documenting daily life is your thing and you write about your stupid husbands who never listens the whole sentences you say, but only the most important keyword or begin and end word. Oh, sounds like my husband. Anyway: lot to write about; go, go, go.

• When you have very rare important information for people to tell like having an extraterrestrial creature who lives in your backyard sneaking in your house and eating holes out of all your toilet seats

• When you have a vision about a topic; like women should not work until kids are 18 years old and are to be considered well educated. They should be given full parental attention (if that still exists?) so that they are not going to become totally fucked up, confused, weird, lazy, drowning in narcism, shoe lace eating snapped disrespectful, lying, nonstop complaining look a like Kardashians who only communicate with emojis, abhorring anyone and everything, whining about low salaries, shredded expressionless zombies. Something like that. Sort of.

• Because you review reports about travels or products; like WTB (whattheblieb©celesta) is this rotten nipple colorizer with defect lid.

• Because you’ve experienced things, like having been on an UFO and talked to a very famous alien creature (on his own planet that is) This could be a majorly interesting blog you know, since we have disclosure fans jumping the globe up and down all the time.

• Market or promote something because you have a company.

• If you have passions you want to talk about; passions about peak through molehills while carrying a tiny house on your back perhaps.

And probably there are many other reasons for you to blog, but you have to sort that out on your own. Or use internet.

BUT PLEASE DON’T CALL YOURSELF EXPERT WITHOUT HAVING ANY OR LITTLE EXPERIENCE IN WHATSOEVER!!!!!! Because then I have to become mad at you. And probably eat you. And spit you out again. Because you are too gross to be eaten and I would come to the conclusion of why on earth cannibals eat people meat! You can’t even make juicy little round meat balls out of them. I think.

For all fake experts out there: I’ve got some experiencing tips for you to catch upon: take a hike and go find some elderly people to wash and feed because they are too old and sick and have to be taken care of, because nobody does that anymore because everybody is damn to busy with selfies, youtubing being a fake expert, famous soccer player or actor; you kind of people rather eat your own money instead of helping. But karma gets you back (hopefully) because if you’re old yourself there will be nobody to take care of you haha <thumbup>.

Why blog when thousands of people already covered your topic?

• Because of your unique vision

Every second a couple of blogs are being generated in the world; if you can write a report with your unique vision, you have already a big reason to cover your favorite topic.

Everybody wants to hear how you have cycled around the world with on top of your head your suitcases because you refused to travel minimalistic and per definition wanted to bring all your 46 trousers, sweaters and stiletto heels; that is if you’re female of course or if you are transvestite obviously.

• Because there are so many niches and topics in the world, that you can always search for a unique story entrance. For example: how to do important business phone calls when you are sitting on the toilet.

• Because you can make many sub topics of only one topic. Like when your topic is ‘vacuum cleaner bag’; you can make subtopics like: ‘vacuum cleaner bag diy hat’ or ‘what’s in the vacuum cleaner bag’ or ‘using a range hood with an exit straight down the window onto your neighbors lawn instead of a vacuum cleaner bag’.

• Because every subtopic can be approached in many different ways. If you dress yourself like superman than you are already on your way.

• Because every new development or happening can be taken as another opportunity to write about. Writing about how your pimple tried to be a square blister is what we all want to know.

So there you have it: writing / blogging will always be interesting unless you are genuine and serious about it. Well not to serious.

For more rubbish you can take the risk here:

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©Celesta.nl- 2017

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