Past year’s life lesson: Love= hot choco kitten poo stuff on the wall
What was my life lesson in 2017?
Towards the end of each year it is always fun to ask the Tarot what had been your life lesson of that particular year. If there is at all any or at least somewhere covered under a lot of failures.
Yes people I do understand that there are far more other ways to have fun than drawing tarot cards. But this year I didn’t have the time, money and energy to hitchhike from the Rocky Mountains to the Chinese Wall to bungee jump with a whole pizza in my mouth connected to a camera in the cheese to film and snapchat a possible viral episode of me trying to read a book while jumping and in the meantime holding a washing machine attached to a rope which I hold with my most little left toe.
Oh and in the washing machine, which is fun also, I deposited a fellow voyager named Jeff Bezos (the owner of Amazon who this year went from $34,2 billion to $100 billion: I hate him) who I kidnapped because then I can ask for a huge ransom which I need for my health recovery and he doesn’t need it anyway since it’s absolutely useless in your life to have 3278 cars, 646 houses, 94 airplanes, 86 old juke boxes and a library as big as a football field, but I can’t understand why since he founded Amazon.
When I dragged him in the machine I kept telling him that I need the money more than he does, since I have to live too and he already has a life. But he yelled back “I wanna go back to my 88 Alpaca’s, I have to feed them all”; and I answered “you’re lying don’t you have a Zookeeper for that?!”.
Anyway it looks like his family is not going to come up with the ransom and they say you can keep the boldy guy; and I totally understand why.
So this year I apparently drew the Hearts 2 (corresponding to the Two of Cups). Now isn’t that sweet; a love card, sort of.
This card is comparable with the Lovers card, but then sometimes with the additional occasional disturbances accompanied with it.
Annoyance like when you’re sitting on the toilet and your spouse is video calling you because he needs to know which type of cat toy is most appropriate for an autistic cat; so you’re all like “but I’m very busy right now?!” and he answers “sure, but this is very important too and I need to know now, because I can’t park the car here in front of the store entrance”.
Now these hearts of two would implicate that my lesson could be that I have been more affectionate to husband this year. Silence here. ……… Thinking here. ……… Wild hysterical evil laugh here.
Could I be totally affectionate to husband when he lets me say “things” multiple times a day (well a couple of hundred times even) because he refuses to save conversations and words in his tiny little head. No not gonna happen nope. Not even when he snitches bicycles from a Christmas fair and forget to order groceries properly for our holiday cottages.
Soo Hearts 2; I think you’ve seen this slightly wrong you know. Probably you meant something like “now look what you’ve done: you threw your crown on the floor! Why?! I’ve worked my ass of f this year to buy you the stupid crown and now you don’t want it?!”. At least that is what I see on the drawing on the card.’t be the case either, because we have no money to buy me a golden crown. At all.
What could the love life lesson have been this year for me personally?
Apparently the stupid card says that we came closer together this year aside from the usual irritations about the financial stress in the beginning of the year because of the unstable run down of our coffee distribution each month, the extra-responsability-for-a-new-cat-stress and a sweet mother who gets more and more forgetful every time she drinks a hot choco: which all puts a lot of pressure to your marriage. It was a real challenge to behave myself when huspup was always like “stay calm, nothing to stress about, just a matter of time, you can come out of the bathroom now, are you sure arsenic taste delicious?”. Yeahhhh right, how is one supposed to stay calm when your few hours old new home companion, in the form of a cat, sprays his fluid shit all over your wallpaper, you can’t afford new one and your mother is asking if that is hot choco on the wall and if she can have some. And main thing: where you can get your own persian pussy free hot choco spray pooper included.
But with a little effort from husband grabbing me of passing baby buggys screaming “our pussy don’t wear diapers; she just paints our walls with hot choco!!” while explaining to me that there are real human babies lying in baby buggys and not cats. I managed to recover myself real quick and instead of arguing about things we laughed and middle-fingered the stress away. We laughed so hard about not having money for buying food and clothes (the first 5 months of past year); I practically fractured my jaw and almost rang up a couple of clients to tell them we had done arsenic in their fresh bought coffee beans hahahahahaha to make us laugh even harder.
Instead of yelling all of husband’s hair away from his head during stressful circumstances; I amazingly could conduct myself better than ever and remain more nice to the huspup. Which is pretty much very good for me.
calm while sitting in a restaurant and for the 865th time they served me cream in my soup, which for me can lead to the same consequences as when you should drink hydrocyanic acid.
e I was totally normal by only laying my hand palm gently on the whole surface of Jack’s face to make sure nothing softy came out of the system. Then I calmly but compelling used my new Gilles dela Tourette technique, complimented him with his amazing ugly shirt and asked the servant to sprint to the kitchen and get the X a new soup WITHOUT the deadly cow substance disastrous for my poor immune system (and to take off that awful piece of fabric).
Well that went real smoother than ever before. I impressed myself.
So with my new more relaxed attitude in the pocket this year I had to replace my old approach with another more ‘me’ flair. Instead I cursed a whole lot more to life (instead to husband) and the Universe; with ‘A WHOLE LOT MORE’ written in capitals.
After 28yrs of entrepreneurship and going from successful to sickness and the associated financial stress. My lesson this year: I learned to stay nice(r) under stressful circumstances.
What was your lesson?
Let me know!
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